Today, on twitter, this appeared in my time line:
To me, this is in equal parts familiar (people trying to be helpful and encouraging) and mind-blowingly ridiculous. A crash, and recovering from a crash are 2 different things. This tweet by FranceyME perfectly illustrates how this 'avoidance of negativity' is beyond useless.
As regular readers know, I'm all for a positive outlook, and making the most of things, and communicating positively. But here's the thing: bad things happen. Highly unpleasant symptoms happen - for some people life-threatening symptoms happen.
How can I deal constructively with a bad day if I have spend my time and energy trying to pretend it isn't a bad day? How can I let people around me know I'm struggling if I'm not allowed to use 'negative' words?
I have bad days, splat days, off-my-head with fatigue days. I crash out. I have overwhelmed days. I have 'can't cope with anything' days. And crying under the duvet days.
But I also have beautiful days. Constructive days. Well-managed days. Happy days.
(I say days - but they can also be hours, minutes, or weeks!)
And sometimes the above can happen simultaneously. I can be so symptomatic I choke on my own saliva until I'm nearly sick - which causes a crash period. And then thoroughly enjoy a Terry Pratchett audiobook while crashed. Safe in the knowledge that I am helping myself recover. Creating a good bad day.
Experiencing something negative does not mean having a negative outlook or attitude.
For me, the relief of being able to say things like 'ARGH, this is a hormonal splat day, and is a total write-off' is huge. This acknowledgement of a negative is key to my positive experience! Because when I admit it's horrible, I can do what I can to mitigate and cope with the inevitable horribleness. Perhaps fill the day with softness, cosyness, warmth (or cold - depending!). Or lie in bed appreciating the red kites wheeling in the sky outside. Or perhaps it's been a horrible day where I have had to do things despite being too symptomatic to cope - then again, admitting it is horrible allows me to initiate and accept coping strategies, enables me to plan recovery, and helps me understand myself. And communicating the horribleness (alongside the strategies) helps people around me to understand and interact appropriately and constructively - which, lets face it, is incredibly positive!
So please, give me space for negative experiences. They are part of my everyday reality. And that's OK.