Is it my achievement if I didn't do it?

 As a disabled person, getting help with stuff used to feel like I failed. Everyone else could have done that themselves. Surely I should have been able to do it too.

Over time, however, I've learned that it's OK to get help. And if I organise or problem solve it or contribute to it in some way, then yes. It is absolutely my achievement (alongside theirs).

Last month I hired a cleaner for my bathroom - after 6 months of not having one....and cleaning the bathroom about twice. (Yuk. I know. But that's the reality of being disabled and temporarily not having the cash for cleaners!) Now the bathroom is kept clean. It is marvelous. And it is my achievement because if I didn't hire them the cleaning wouldn't happen.

It was bought home to me further this weekend. My back room (that was my office) needed repainting. I didn't paint it personally - I paid someone else to. Part of me will always say 'but you should have done it yourself and saved the money'. But I don't have to listen to that bit of me. Sure I could have done it - or tried, at least. And injured myself, aggravated symptoms for weeks to come, while doing a poor quality job and quite possibly being unable to finish it.

As it was, I bought some colour testers then made a decision. Then I bought all the supplies (online shopping is SO useful!). Then I hired some people to do the painting - and gave them all the instructions of what I wanted done, how to move some furniture that's a bit fragile etc. 

So while it is of course an achievement for the painters, it is a big achievement for me. And I feel that happy sense of wellbeing of a job well done.

Bunch of brighly coloured tulips. Text: I didn't do it myself. But I organised it and got help to make sure it happened, so it is still my achievement.

(Next job, find suitable second hand dresser, and someone with suitable vehicle to collect it...)