The other day I was hanging out with another disabled young woman, doing some gardening together.
It was lovely, being outdoors and chatting while also getting stuff done.
Her walking is better than mine, but my ability to pull up weeds was better than hers. After a while we settled into the routine that I pulled up the weeds, and she took them to the bonfire pile.
She commented "I'm so tired - I shouldn't be this tired, I've only walked from here to there and back!"
That walk might have been a short stroll for some, but it was near impossible for me.
We talked about how important it was not to belittle our achievements just because it wasn't hard for someone else. We might be slower and get exhausted, but that doesn't make us less.
When it was time to go, I got back into my wheelchair (I usually garden by crawling) and sat a minute to catch my breath...
"I shouldn't be this tired, when all I've done is that small patch of weeding!"
*Facepalm*
Silly moments of comparing can creep up so easily and steal our sense of achievement and joy.
The reality was:
We now have a pact. Neither of us are allowed to use phrases like "I shouldn't feel like this" or "But all I did was...." when talking about our symptoms. We have the bodies we have, and if it was challenging for us, we are going to celebrate that we did it!
It was lovely, being outdoors and chatting while also getting stuff done.
Her walking is better than mine, but my ability to pull up weeds was better than hers. After a while we settled into the routine that I pulled up the weeds, and she took them to the bonfire pile.
She commented "I'm so tired - I shouldn't be this tired, I've only walked from here to there and back!"
That walk might have been a short stroll for some, but it was near impossible for me.
We talked about how important it was not to belittle our achievements just because it wasn't hard for someone else. We might be slower and get exhausted, but that doesn't make us less.
When it was time to go, I got back into my wheelchair (I usually garden by crawling) and sat a minute to catch my breath...
"I shouldn't be this tired, when all I've done is that small patch of weeding!"
*Facepalm*
Silly moments of comparing can creep up so easily and steal our sense of achievement and joy.
The reality was:
- We both did stuff we found challenging.
- Together we achieved far more than we could have on our own.
- Together we got things done that otherwise wouldn't have got done.
We now have a pact. Neither of us are allowed to use phrases like "I shouldn't feel like this" or "But all I did was...." when talking about our symptoms. We have the bodies we have, and if it was challenging for us, we are going to celebrate that we did it!