The other day in town I had 2 offers of help.
The first I was about to put my chair into the car. A man approached and asked "Would you like some help?"
Something about his body language and sincerity of expression rang all my alarm bells. In that split second I knew, just knew, that he would be one of those who tried to insist on helping even when it wasn't helpful, and wouldn't listen to my answer.
So I steeled myself for a fight and gave my first line of defence "No thank you. I'm fine thanks" with a confident smile. I could almost feel the more assertive lines queueing up ready for use.
And then...
He smiled back, wished me good day and carried on past without a pause.
It was perfect.
It was unsettling. I must not make snap judgements about people!
The second was in a small shop. A really tiny space. A 3 metre long, 1 metre wide corridor of floor between the door and the till. I had just paid and was leaving. A gentleman entered and was standing by the door.
The door is fabulously light and easy to open. I wish more doors were like that one.
I approached the exit and the gentleman said "Allow me" and opened the door.
"Allow me". Such a charming old fashioned saying! No pity, no assumption of inability, just respect - and as he was standing by the door it made sense to hold it open.
There was only one possible response: "Why thank you!" accompanied by a slight bow and a huge grin.
And there you have it. 2 perfect offers of assistance within an hour. One offered sincerely but listening to and respecting my answer. The other was simple charming politeness, with no connection to my disability.
The first I was about to put my chair into the car. A man approached and asked "Would you like some help?"
Something about his body language and sincerity of expression rang all my alarm bells. In that split second I knew, just knew, that he would be one of those who tried to insist on helping even when it wasn't helpful, and wouldn't listen to my answer.
So I steeled myself for a fight and gave my first line of defence "No thank you. I'm fine thanks" with a confident smile. I could almost feel the more assertive lines queueing up ready for use.
And then...
He smiled back, wished me good day and carried on past without a pause.
It was perfect.
It was unsettling. I must not make snap judgements about people!
The second was in a small shop. A really tiny space. A 3 metre long, 1 metre wide corridor of floor between the door and the till. I had just paid and was leaving. A gentleman entered and was standing by the door.
The door is fabulously light and easy to open. I wish more doors were like that one.
I approached the exit and the gentleman said "Allow me" and opened the door.
"Allow me". Such a charming old fashioned saying! No pity, no assumption of inability, just respect - and as he was standing by the door it made sense to hold it open.
There was only one possible response: "Why thank you!" accompanied by a slight bow and a huge grin.
And there you have it. 2 perfect offers of assistance within an hour. One offered sincerely but listening to and respecting my answer. The other was simple charming politeness, with no connection to my disability.
It's lovely when something like this happens. Restores your faith on the human race.
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