And while part of my brain laments how awful and full of cold I feel, how I can't think straight, and knows that curling up with a blanket and hot drink is the only way forward, another part of my brain is quietly relieved.
For the past week my PoTS has been playing up more than I'd expect. Nothing specific, just unsettling. I don't mind bad patches when I know I've overdone it, or the weather is too warm, or I haven't been doing my physio or I'm sat like a sack of potatoes - because I know why I'm bad. I've learnt roughly how my body reacts to things and it's really empowering. So when it starts being grumpy and not responding to my usual strategies and I can't work out why - this is really unsettling.
But my PoTS and EDS aren't mysteriously spiralling out of control - the brewing infection totally explains the past week. I just have a cold. Which, even better, is just a normal thing that people get all the time.
So while in one way I feel awful, in another way I am greatly reassured.