Spam Amusement

 I don't usually bother opening anything that looks remotely like spam, but I wasn't properly awake.

And then I laughed.

This sender genuinely thought I would believe them when they wrote "I am not a spammer - I have looked carefully at your website and know what you need" - and then wrote this:

"I thought you might like to know some reasons why you are not getting enough Social Media and Organic search engine traffic for Stickmancommunications.co.uk1. Your website Stickmancommunications.co.uk is not ranking top in Google organic searches for many competitive keyword phrases." [type in 'disability stickers' and I'm on the 2nd page of google. Twice. Based entirely on my own work - not paying for rankings boosts]"2. Your company is not doing well in most of the Social Media Websites." [Interesting definition of 'not doing well' there. Over 1000 twitter followers and approaching 1000 FB fans, many of whom spend money repeatedly in my shop, and lots of customer interaction in both places, and customer recommendations and RT's.....?]"3. Your site is not user friendly on mobile devices." [people manage to spend money on it from the mobile devices, so clearly not such an issue after all.]

Erm...sunshine...my social media presence is the reason for my business being viable. Not only is it where most of my business stems from, it has led to commissioned pieces, my winning a logo design competition for a multi gold-winning paralypian (Hannah Cockroft), and Channel 4 paralympics wanting to use my cartoons. Are you telling me that top athletes wearing my work and national TV channels asking permission to use my work is evidence of failure? Oh, and I've built this entire business with an annual advertising/marketing budget of approx £100. Which mostly goes on posters and signage for events.

And one final piece of advice: if you really want me to believe that my ability to be found on the internet is so terrible, don't tell me "I found your site using Google search"