Stickman Communications

New Wheelchair Symbol - for download

2012-02-14T09:45:00.000-08:00

I am always surprised to see that I get so many people finding my last post on a 'new wheelchair symbol' through google searches.

Clearly, people like the thought of changing the existing one. Surely there are lots of alternatives that I would like out there? actually, there aren't many at all.

There are many variations, but they either show a 'racing pose' or look just as 'clunky' and 'rigid' as the traditional one. As I said in my previous blog entry 'New Wheelchair Symbol' I don't like 'sporty' versions unless they are in a sporting context. When people see me rolling actively they find it easy to see that I may possibly have a fullfilling life. If I'm being pushed the attitudes change. Therefore any sign I like as a generic symbol would need to show the wheelchair user in a positive life whether 'amazing physical prowess' is present or not.

I have never seen a logo which gives even a hint of the joy and freedom that my wheels have given me. That I see and immediately identify with.

So, with my experience and confidence as an illustrator growing, I've updated my previous symbol (see blog entry 'New Wheelchair Symbol') to the following:

New Happy Wheelchair Symbol

Various colours and styles of high quality versions are available for purchase and download from www.shutterstock.com - search for 'Happy wheelchair symbol' and you'll find them! (Or see the link to my most popular, and most recent images available here)

My dream is to see them gradually spread across websites and business - helping people see past the disability and appreciate the person.

My images for your use!!

2012-02-11T04:19:00.000-08:00

My latest images for sale at Shutterstock:

My most popular images for sale at Shutterstock:

I did it!! You can now purchase and download my cheerful, positive versions of the wheelchair symbol - as well as a few other stickmen of mine :D

Of course, over time this collection will grow, but we have to start somewhere.

And yes, I am very proud that all 10 of my first submissions were accepted.

So here's to many future sales!

Responses to 'Dear Government'

2012-01-31T05:48:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend I sent my 'Dear Government' cartoon to MPs across the country (thanks to the encouragement of Tanni Grey-Thompson).

Amongst the standard 'if you are not a constituent we cannot deal with your case' emails I've had a number of positive responses, from a simple "Thank you", through ''Spot on!" and "I like your artistry and your means of conveying a message – it was not automatically deleted!" to supportive, well considered emails that give hope for truly responsible actions, such as this one: (copied with the author's permission, in full, but with names removed)

Hannah

[MP] has asked me to respond to your email on his behalf. He asked me to thank you for sending it. He was very impressed by the way your drawings displayed a simple but powerful message. And I think by visually displaying it, you have left a lasting impression on his thoughts.

Personally (and these are my comments as an individual and a local Councillor rather than from [MP]) I hope that other MPs will look your drawings. I also hope you will send them to the papers and to Councillors across the country as a reminder of all the decisions we take in Local Government, which while not the aim of your drawings are still relevant.

On top of that it brightened my day to see it, rather than deal with the sometimes long correspondence. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your undoubted drawing skills.

Regards

[Councillor]

Yes, times are hard and uncertain, but there is hope.

Dear Government,

2012-01-25T05:23:00.000-08:00

"Anything you can do I can do better"

2012-01-16T11:58:00.000-08:00

While doing some disability awareness chatting I happened to mention that while some wheelchair users can go down stairs in their wheels:

picture from: "You know you've been pushing it when..." By Hannah Ensor

I can't.

picture from: "You know you've been pushing it when..." By Hannah Ensor

A person with disabilities who was with me said "Yet! - we can do anything able bodied people can do, and better, can't we!" Fighting talk. Said with fierce conviction but it made me shrink inside. A statement so desperate to prove worth that admission of limitation is unthinkable.

I don't know whether learning to wheel down a flight of stairs is possible with my conditions - and I don't care because I have no intention of putting the time or effort into trying. I don't want to. It isn't necessary for me and it doesn't appeal. Why should I feel obliged to learn/say I'm learning just to prove...something I don't understand...when I would much rather be drawing stickmen or learning to dance?

When I was able bodied, I didn't feel the need to insist to every skateboarder doing tricks that 'I could do that if I wanted/practiced'. Other peoples abilities didn't make me feel inferior then, and I don't see why they should now.

So here and now I say what I wanted to but didn't earlier:

I can't do the amazing wheelie stunt of going safely down a stairs on wheels.
I have no need to learn it.
I have no intention of learning it.

And I'm still an valuable member of society.

So there.

"How to steal like an Artist" (Austin Kleon)

2012-01-12T08:33:00.000-08:00

"How to steal like an Artist" by Austin Kleon is being released in March 2012. I read his blog about it. I want it. I possibly even NEED it.

Why?

Cos it's true, and it makes me snigger.

But stealing!

Plagarism? copyright infringement?

No.

Not if you steal like an artist!

I list the ways I've fallen off my wheels to a friend. "You should write a book about it!" she laughs.

Ah ha! I steal the idea....and a year later: "You know you've been pushing it when..." (Ok, I drew the book more than wrote it)

Which itself is entirely stolen from life. Things people say, situations I've been in, things I've nearly done. None are original because they all happened - or nearly happened long before my pen hit paper. I drew it through my eyes but still, the inspiration for page 73 is clearly the suited business man who farted in my face. (ok, ok, it wasn't deliberate - I just wheel with my nose at an unfortunate height)

Someone commissioned a blog header - and somehow it triggered sparks in my brain. I stole the sparks and out popped a new website header.

Artistic inspiration doesn't come from some ethereal alternative imagination full of things never thought before - it comes from what is infront of me, and my friends and family all know: Anything they do or say may be end up as stickmen.

Stickmen.

I draw stickmen. Yes - like those doodles bored teens have been doing for years in chemistry textbooks across the land. Clearly I stole the idea from society.

Stickmen.

Am I an artist? Who cares. But I reckon I'm learning to steal like one. And once I have Austins book I'll steal even better.

And incase you are wondering, I don't pay royalties. There is no way face-farter is ever getting money for that page.

Nerf Wars

2011-12-28T07:43:00.000-08:00

We always go for a family walk at Christmas. It is Tradition.

Only this time we all had nerf guns.

And it rapidly became 'Zombies vs Aliens'

Aliens had guns.

Zombies didn't. If shot, a zombie froze for 5 seconds.

If caught, the Alien dropped his gun and became a zombie too.

We took over a corner of the park.

All 18 of us, aged 2 to 35.

We ran, we shrieked, we fell over, we got muddy, we laughed.

And we never did work out who won.

Toothbrush Trouble

2011-12-14T13:18:00.000-08:00

I only went to brush my teeth. It all went slightly wrong.

I held the brush, applied the paste then missed my teeth entirely.

I got my mouth alright:

Right side, inner cheek - so hard it even sprang a leak.

Not even with the bristles

- that I could understand,

but with the blunt and risk-free plastic end!

I admit that sometimes coordination

isn't quite my strongest point,

but you must agree it's a kinda special

toothbrush jeopardy!

Objective: Wheelchair

2011-11-22T16:00:00.000-08:00

Inspired by Richard Herring's Objective, with Francesca Martinez.

A program which made me cry with laughter at its oh-so-true-but-unbelievable observations on reactions to the wheelchair. I had to listen to it again, just to ensure it was that funny. It was. And so grew the following stickmen:
(Click on the picture to view it full size)

Stickman Gift Ideas

2011-11-22T10:00:00.000-08:00

Some Christmas gift ideas - my favourite stickman products! Available from my website www.stickmancommunications.co.uk. Also available through most bookstores (although they may have to order them in).

Welly Walks and Biscuit Baking

£5.99 each, £1 donated to Whizz-Kidz per book sold. Perfect for 2-5yr olds.

"I urge you all to buy @stickmancrips two amazing kids bookshttp://bit.ly/uFkZWN and http://bit.ly/v4l7aa £1 from each will go to@WhizzKidz" Fran Williamson, Ex paralymic swimmer.

"I've just had my first read of the new books by @stickmancrips .. they're amazing! I'm buying some for my kids friends for christmas"

"E loves them. She still sleeps with them under her pillow"

"Do it again! Do it again! Look, it got et! See! the cookie got et!" 7yr old child discovering Biscuit Baking's 'flip book' effect.

"You know you've been pushing it when..."

£6.99 each, £1 donated to The Hypermobility Syndrome Association per book sold. Perfect for all who can see the funny side of life.

"Really funny and a great way of conveying wheelie life." Helene Raynsford, Paralymic Gold Medalist 2008

"Ideal stocking filler gift book" Book shop owner.

"Ditch the leather gloves, this book is THE essential wheelchair accessory!" Carrie B, Wheelchair User.

"That's brilliant! It shows a completely different perspective - and it's so funny." Random chap on the train.

"This has to be the most perfect book for all wheelchair users out there! It is funny, true and gives such a wonderful insight to the world of being a wheelie. So many of the pages in the book have happened to me and the simple but effective way Hannah Ensor has drawn the stickmen is ingenious." 'Loosebones'. Wheelchair user.

Of course, there are T-shirts, more books, communication cards and more on my website too...

Latest Project: Communication Cards

2011-11-11T08:21:00.001-08:00

How do you explain to strangers that you are OK when you have fallen in the street and lost your ability to speak coherently?
How do you say "don't help me up by pulling my arms because they will dislocate" when you cannot talk?
How do you reassure the people worriedly flapping around you that this is all within 'Normal' and you will be fine shortly?
And how do you deal with the fear of knowing this is likely to happen and you will be helpless to stop people from damaging you by well intentioned, misplaced 'help'?

A friend of mine faces this every time she leaves the house. I too have problems with intermittent speech issues and a body that does things that worry people while I'm simultaneously unable to explain that I am fine.

So we thought up a solution: Stickman Communication Cards! (sorry for the long column of pictures - the slide show didn't work)

I made a set for my friend. But fell in love, so made some for me too.

Professionally printed, laminated, and on a keyring. Small enough to slip into a pocket. Easy to hold, easy to flip through. And fun - not a disability aid that leaves me feeling inadequate and embarrassed, but one that has such style and glee that I'm almost looking forward to having to use it!

With them in my pocket I feel so much safer, knowing that if my body throws a strop at me in public, I have the tools to deal with it. I hope my friend feels the same!

The concept can be easily tweaked to suit all sorts of 'non-verbal, important communication' scenarios. Anyone interested in a set adapted to their needs can contact me at admin@stickmancommunications.co.uk

Whooop! I just did some IRONING!

2011-11-07T09:39:00.000-08:00

Yippeee!

I just ironed!

At least 4 T-shirts and 2 pairs of trousers. Three Cheers for me!

And no. I'm not being sarky. I am genuinely pleased. Genuinely proud of myself. Smirk.

What was that magic combination of circumstances that enabled such a feat?

Months and months of physio.
My heating is off it's near freezing outside, so the heat from the iron made the temperature tolerable instead of triggering an over-heat collapse.
I found a mini ironing board I can actually set up.
And it's design means I can iron sat on the floor - so I don't fall.
Nothing had pleats or other complicated thingys that require finely tuned coordination.

So now I bask in my sense of achievement and the haze of painkillers as I reattach my wrist, wibble other wonky joints back into place and try to get my neck to stop switching my quads off.

Hehehe. I did it! I ironed! All by myself.

And now it's time to make dinner......

*looks at current physical state*

Blast

"Have a seat"

2011-10-29T08:34:00.000-07:00

At the Dr's surgery the other day, I entered the sub-waiting room. It is very narrow, with two rows of chairs facing each other. The first chair each side was occupied which would make it awkward for someone to walk up the middle. The chap in one chair glanced up and saw me "here, have a seat" he said, shifting quickly along a few seats...

"...Oh. You already have one". Embarrassed, noticing my wheels.

I grinned. "You've made my day"

He looked confused.

"You saw me, acknowledged me as a person and then you saw my wheels. I like that. I like it when I'm a person first, and my disability is registered later."

And we chatted on about random things until appointment time.

What he saw as a mistake, a failure to take in the whole situation at a glance, made my day.

And it still keeps making me smile.

Because I like being 'just another person'.

Sign of Approval

2011-10-24T03:18:00.000-07:00

On Saturday I launched Biscuit Baking and Welly Walks.

The books I'd worked on for months, fallen in love with, and which make me grin every time I pick them up. But now: the moment of truth. Letting the public judge their worth.

A hall full of children and parents - the atmosphere much like a child's party with face-painting, balloons, kids chasing bubbles on the patio or sitting quietly with colouring sheets and pencils. Children shyly telling me their names to write in the front of their shiny new books.

And not only that, ex-paralympic swimmer, Fran Williamson had also come to show her support and appeared delighted with her signed copies.

But my favorite part was reading them out loud to the children and their parents. The smiles, the pointing, the giggles and occasional 'look Mummy!' made my day.

My books were approved by those who matter most. The children.

Thank you to all who came - I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!

A brief stroll....

2011-10-20T10:27:00.000-07:00

It might be immature, but Saturday's stroll made me laugh.

(Best viewed if you click on the first picture - it brings up a slide show)

Well, I thought it was funny.

Launch of Welly Walks and Biscuit Baking

2011-10-13T13:41:00.000-07:00

Photo by Nicole French, 2011

Launch Date: 22^ndOctober 2011

Time: 2:00-3:30pm

Venue: Willowcroft CommunitySchool, Mereland Road, Didcot, OXON, OX11 8BA

Books: Welly Walks and Biscuit Baking by Hannah Ensor

With balloons, book sales (my other books will be on sale too) facepainting, bubbles, book signing and more.

Also attended by FranWilliamson: Five-time World Champion Swimmer and six time Paralympic medallist.

2 children’s books. So what?What makes these so special?

1. The illustrations are unique. Clear,joyful, simple and alive. And so are the stories.

Who’d have thought stickpeople could be so expressive? The biggest challenge is not grinning wheneveryou see them.

2. They include disabled children withoutbeing about disabled children.

Plentyof books about disability for 2-5 year olds, but howmany can you find about fun whichjust happen to feature a disabled child? The balance is being addressed.

3. They raise £1 per book for Whizz-kidz(charity no 802872)

Who help children enjoy fun and full childhoods, get the right wheelchairsfor them at the right time, and learn the skills they need – all without pityor patronisation. With loads of input from the kidz themselves, it is run withhumour, respect, positivity, professionalism and cheek. A charity after my ownheart.

4. And each book has a special feature....................

It is the same feature inevery book, but also different! My nieces and nephew who pre-viewed my bookswanted to see this charming and unexpected facet of my books over and overagain.

That’ll keep you guessing!

I still can’t quite believethe responses I’ve had from the adults who have seen them. They pick it upand within seconds they smile, often progressing to 'laugh out loud'. What greatercompliment could they give? If the fun these stickmen children have is socontagious, maybe the message that disabled people are just people will catchon with equal ease.

Photo by Nicole French, 2011

So here’s to helping changethe world, a little at a time. Starting next Saturday.

(Pre-ordering available from the publisher 2QT, WHSmiths,and other similar places. I have been told that Amazon is taking a long time to process orders.)

Disability Pride?

2011-10-08T03:25:00.000-07:00

There are many opinions on 'Disability Pride', many different approaches. From people who think it is the only way to be, to people who think it is all a lie and emotional denial. Today I had a think. Where do I stand? (This is simply my current thoughts. I have no problem with people disagreeing.)

If, 8 years ago and before I became disabled, someone had asked me whether I was proud of being able to walk I would have looked at them like they were from another planet. How can you be proud of something that you were born able to do, something which is easy, straightforward and every-day boring? It was simply a small part of who I was and held no evidence of anything praiseworthy. Why the big deal?

And I think this attitude still works for me today. Proud of being disabled? Why should I be proud of something which life dealt me? I did nothing praiseworthy to become disabled, it just happened. It is my normal. Simply a small part of who I am. Why the big deal?

I am, however, proud of my achievements, proud of my approach to life, proud of who I am. And that encompasses my disability as well as my abilities - because it is only when I include the disability that I am completely me and completely grounded in reality. If I try to hide it or pretend it is not there I cheat myself - I try to achieve things I don't need to and miss perfect opportunities. It is only when I accept who I am as a whole that I can use my strengths, improve on my weaknesses, grow as a person and have a full-filling and bright future.

Proud of my disability? No. A concept I don't really understand.

Proud of me, disability and all? YES!

You're Inspirational!

2011-10-05T05:54:00.000-07:00

Something I hear so often that it grates.

Like so many wheelchair users when I go out for coffee, pop to the shop, go to the post office, I run the gauntlet of 'how inspirational' 'how brave' 'how amazing'.

Why? Tesco holds no fear and Starbucks no hidden terrors. I may go in my wheelchair, but seriously: it is no big deal. Well, it is in that when on wheels I am so much more part of the community and able to interact and enjoy things (see 'statement of disability'). And clearly there is nothing remotely special in doing everyday things that are within my capabilities, in an everyday way.

It irks me. It's depressing that people have such low expectations of me that my posting a letter can inspire them.

And this has coloured my reaction to compliments about my attitude or achievements - my automatic inner response of 'I'm just getting on with life, just let me be myself and stop setting your expectations so low that they imprison me.'

Recently I was in hospital. A nurse asked me about my conditions then read my books for more information. We chatted more. I told him about my up-coming book releases.

He said I was inspirational.

I paused, looked at my inner reaction and compared it to reality.

The comment had context. It was backed by thinking my books were really fun and educational. He'd never read anything like them and found them really useful. He saw being a published author as something special - and to have achieved it on the basis of a talent found during bouts of intermittent speech problems was, for him, inspirational.

And thinking about it, I'm OK with that. I am proud of the talent I discovered, and that I have found ways to use it that help others and earn money.

Over the course of their life, the average human will do things that inspire, things that scare, things that are despised, things that are respected. Being told you are inspirational isn't always patronising. Sometimes it is just recognising you as another human being and appreciating your achievements.

Sometimes the inner reaction should be looked at before spat out.

Achievements

2011-09-24T10:20:00.000-07:00

We all have a perception of what 'society' and 'other people' would see as achievements.

Obviously, getting my books Biscuit Baking and Welly Walks published and arranging the book launch for the 22nd October (details will be published when confirmed) is an achievement which everyone would recognise.

But what I consider an achievement should not be governed by others.

So here is an achievement which, for me, is greater:

Last week I had friends round for dinner. I cooked. I held my first dinner party EVER and gave others a good time. I loved it. And I didn't use my wheelchair.

The 'Other People' in my head says "Every young woman should be able to do that. Besides, all the food was oven-ready, pre-prep stuff. All you did is put the oven on. And your guests had to take the food out of the oven and clear the table! And by the end you were too exhausted to talk or walk safely!"

But I choose not to listen.

Because from my perspective to be well enough, for one evening, to give others a good time and enjoy it myself is too beautiful for words.

The daily physiotherapy, the weeks in hospital, the relentless monitoring my activities to keep myself from total collapse, the medication side-effects, the having to ask for help with housework, the accepting retiring on medical grounds while still young - it has all paid off.

An achievement of monumental proportions that I will hold in my heart forever.

I hereby promise to evict the 'Other People' from my head, and acknowledge my real achievements each day.

Today I did some ironing and didn't dislocate my shoulder.

Another achievement I am proud of.

The man on the train

2011-09-16T03:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I got chatting to the business man sat opposite me on the train.

At one point he asked if there would be someone waiting with a ramp at my destination station.

"Hopefully!" I grin. And we chat a bit further how wheels affect travel.

Then he grinned.

"I bet you have great fun on them at times"

I could have hugged him. He didn't see my wheels as a statement of disability. He wasn't afraid of them. He saw them for what they are: a way of getting around that has its pros and cons.

And conversation moved on.

A stranger un-phased by my mode of transport,

A man holding no predjudice. No belief that wheels need pity.

I doubt he'll ever realise how special it was for me.

I salute you, Mr Man-on-the-train.

How not to behave in Church...

2011-09-12T06:58:00.000-07:00

Beating the heat!

2011-08-22T03:58:00.000-07:00

My cool vest is my most treasured possession (after my wheels). At the request of several jealous people, here are some of my cool vest secrets:

(this is entirely from my own experience, and is simply being shared incase it helps anyone else. It may not be the solution for everyone)

What difference does the vest make?
Without it I cannot tolerate temperatures above 22 degrees. I get increasing mental clouding (brian fog), feel awful and end up semi conscious. With the cool vest, I can be out and about on summer days, go on picnics, sit in a wedding reception, go out for meals -all without over-heating and best of all: feeling alive.

Make and model:
Cool vest lite, from www.coolsport.net (A US company. I had to order by email and fax rather than direct from website. I could find no comparable products in the UK. I have, however, suggested to a UK disability equipment supplier that he looks into stocking them.)

Basic details:
A cotton tabard/vest with 4 large pockets for the cool packs, and lots of velcro. Looks something like this:

The vest can be washed in the washing machine, and the packs wipe clean.
Very size adjustable.

Approximate Cost:
I bought 2.
Vests:$160 each
Postage: $62.35
Import duty+VAT: £100
Plus currency exchange fees etc.
Final bill was in the region of £350.

Ease of assembly:
I have some problems with my hands but can put it together and put it on by myself.

How long does it last?
It depends. On a day that is just a little bit too warm for me, it can last about 5 hours - even a bit longer. On a hot day it can run out after about 3.

How long does it take to recharge?
It depends. If the packs are stacked up it can take 24 hours to recharge them in a fridge, but if spread out in a single layer they can recharge within 4 hours in a fridge (recharge before your other set runs out - very handy) much less in a freezer.
ALWAYS recharge them flat otherwise they 'freeze' all rumpled and lumpy - very uncomfortable.
I've never tried recharging in a bucket of iced water like they suggest because it is far too difficult to find a big enough container so they can lie flat, fill it, find ice..etc...etc. But might be worth a try if you are at a bar serving iced drinks and have a set that needs re-charging.

Is it really cold?
No - it is about 16 degrees. Like holding a bottle of cool water to your face on a hot day. Refreshing.

How heavy is it?
The weight should be on the website. When on it is a bit of gentle pressure but doesn't feel heavy.

Fashion...
Yes, people do stare some. And yes, it can look rather like a flak jacket. But not nearly as much as most of the cooling vests I've seen.

With the cool vest lite you can get different coloured vests to suit the occasion/outfit. I have one black and one white. You could always make your own vest once you have the cooling packs. Accessorizing with handbag, shoes and watch, or choosing a brightly coloured contrasting top to wear beneath the vest means I still look good (yes, I am female. Although there is no reason males couldn't wear bright pink DM boots if they wanted to...). Experience says when I wear it with confidence it is quickly accepted by people as 'something I wear' I still get curious people asking questions and a lot of jealous looks in summer, but on the other hand - I am out and about and enjoying myself, a few questions is a small price to pay and I rather like the envy factor :D

You can wear a loose top/shirt over the vest. I don't usually because it makes me look a very odd shape. I prefer that people can see I'm wearing something non standard rather than stare for ages trying to work out whether I am genuinely a wierd, bobbly shape or wearing something odd!

The black one works extremely well with goth/emo/punk fashion - which can make it look like a fashion statement rather than a disability aid, but I've also worn the vest when all dressed up with high heels and a a pretty dress - and still looked good.

When will it need replacing?
Dunno.
Had mine 18 months, been either in the fridge/freezer or in use ever since. Still going strong.

Can I take it on an airplane?
Although you can't take liquids on planes normally, you can for medical reasons. I've flown to Norway wearing mine and carrying my refills. I had a Drs letter explaining what it was, and that it was medically essential. I also notified the airline in advance and took the info sheet that I got with the cooling vest to provide more information if needed -including the suppliers contact details.

General tips:
When out for a warm day I wear one set and put my second set (already recharged) in a small cool bag with an icepack to help keep the temperature down. That way I can be out for longer - go on day trips etc.

In B&Bs/Hotels without a minibar fridge in your room: Travel with some antisceptic wipes and ask if you can borrow a bit of freezer space in the kitchen - reassuring that you will sterilise the packs first so no hygiene risk. (if possible ask in advance)

On days that are slightly warm I can find that while my symptoms benefit from wearing the cool vest, I also have chilly arms. then I wear a light jacket over the cool vest and it makes a lovely little microclimate perfect for me.

In Conclusion

I am dependent on mine for my ability to live independently - if that isn't a contradiction! It was the best thing I've bought (next to my favourite wheels) and I wouldn't be without it - my keys to feeling alive.

Project: Angel Gifts

2011-08-21T06:35:00.000-07:00

I don't usually post about commissioned work, but this I can't resist!

"I'd like some angel pictures, for 'Guardian Angel' gifts" - after further discussing the project, somehow I knew exactly how to make the plans turn real.

I draw very much by 'feel'. The emotion or event conveyed must be true, real. Something I can connect to. This project I could connect to - drawings that said in picture form things I'd want to convey to those close to my heart, and also which I'd like to receive when things are getting tough.

So after talks, brainstorms and sketches I created 3 illustrations.

And now they are for sale. Selling alongside her other jewellery at http://beautifulgems.webs.com/ are the small 'Angel' pendants accompanied by my illustrations - on cards approximately business card size. Products, design and ideas all belong to Karen H - all I did was draw the pictures.

The Guardian Angels illustrated with my stickmen can be bought here

The Birth Angels illustrated with my stickmen can be bought here
(The 'Sketch Angel' - pink square for a girl, blue square for a boy)

My only regret is that they didn't exist during my long hospitalisation last Christmas. Far from home and very poorly but determined to stay positive, it would have meant the world to me to get a cheery Angel through the mail -a permanent reminder that people really care. Something I could hold in my hand, or wear around my neck to remind me that I am loved during those times where even opening my eyes was an effort beyond me.

'Tired? I know how you feel'

2011-08-17T10:13:00.000-07:00

I appreciate that you are trying to empathise - honest! Once I have got over the urge to bury you in sand bags then make you cook dinner. Can't? Just pull yourself together!

I have PoTS, secondary to EDS/Hypermobility Syndrome. Many of the symptoms are similar to CFS/ME. The fatigue and its brain-fogging companions. The utter toe numbing exhaustion where just moving a hand makes you want to hurl. And when you try to explain you either can't find the words through the jelly in your head, or the listener switches off cos you are whining.

Before my PoTS became severe I had no idea what this fatigue lark was really like. I would try to understand how people felt - and couldn't see why they got so tetchy. Now I am the tetchy one.

So, egged on by friends and family I wrote and illustrated "You know you have POTS when..." - although much of it could equally well be called 'You know you have CFS when..'

Explaining without the tetchy.

And whats more, the 'not entirely somber' approach seems to make people actually start to respect my condition. They laugh with the book, but then they see me flolloped but instead of 'I understand, but pull yourself together' I hear "She's in zombie-with-head-full-of-cotton-wool mode again! - so I'm making tea"

For each book sold £1.00 is donated to the Hypermobility Syndrome Association (Charity no: 1011063) and £1.00 is donated to the Association for Young People with ME (Charity no: 1082059) for each book sold.

Statement of disability?

2011-08-09T08:42:00.000-07:00

I am often accompanied, as I journey through life, by my wheelchair and flak-jacket-look-alike cooling vest.

These obvious aids create a statement. Interpreted differently by each reader.

Or could it possibly be "I'm getting on with my life"?

Venturing out without wheels or vest: I am disabled. Staying upright takes all my concentration. I cannot look around. I cannot talk. I cannot relax and enjoy being alive. And I'll probably fall over anyway. But no pity and no general public reaction. No repeated offers for help and no 'you are so brave'. I am just another person, assumed to be going about my business.

When on my wheels, with my trusty cooling vest, I am alive. I am free. I can chat. I can interact. I am another ingredient in a rich community.

Yet with these beautifully expanded horizons, my aids - read as statements of disability - are recognised as setting me apart.

Yes, I am different. Limited in certain ways.

But perhaps, reading between the lines, the statement actually says:

“Now I can be alongside you”

Whizz-Kidz and Me

2011-07-20T08:52:00.000-07:00

Have you every browsed through kids picture books looking for wheelchair users? or searched an online bookshop for kids books where wheelchairs are accepted as normal and not an issue?

I have. I failed to find any I liked. None that conveyed that sense of joy and freedom my wheels give me. None that made wheels feel normal.

With help from Whizz-kidz, this will change!

Working with a group from Whizz-kidz, in time for Christmas I will be having published the first books in a new series aimed at 2-6 year olds! Perfect for all young children - colourful, fun, unique - and breaking down the fear of 'different', helping all who read them (parents included) see past the chair. And raising money for Whizz-kidz at the same time. Perfect!

It is early days yet, but this project has totally captured my heart, and the time I've spent so far with the Whizz-Kidz and the input from them has been phenomenal - not least their liveliness and humour - which I now need to try and capture on paper!

I predict that the next 2 months are going to include some of the most rewarding hard work I have yet done!

(note: featured picture is not the final cover of the book.)

But it is 'Accessible'...

2011-06-11T02:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I hate things labeled as accessible.

Advertised as accessible.

Accessible for me? Accessible for you? Accessible for who?

It usually doesn't bother me at all. I'll just ask questions to get the info I need -until I meet someone who's only answer to my questions is 'it is accessible'.

How does an estate agent who has met me once know what is accessible for me? What does he know about my coordination or hand function or grip strength and how that applies to my abilities to open an external, locked gate?

(see: Gates, wheels and a new perspective)

"Don't worry because of course any gate installed will be accessible, it has to be by law."

Erm. No.

Reasonable adjustments have to be made. That doesn't mean all external gates on the market can be opened by me. Or that a well meaning builder will put in something that I can open. It means they can be opened by most people with a range of ability levels. Accessible for 90% of people doesn't necessarily include me. - just tell me for definite what the gate opening mechanism is (key? Yale lock? (definitely not me-friendly) swipecard? movement sensor? coded keypad?) and I'll know if I'm in the 10% or 90%.

He said how helpful the developer was trying to be. And how everything would be wheelchair accessible. I appreciate all that. I'm not trying to campaign or make a point. Just answer my question. I've been asking for weeks. Any builder/developer can easily find out what kind of lock is on the gate he's bought.

I may have been patronising.

I may have raised my voice in frustration.

I am not proud of this.

But it worked. Slightly.

He called back: He'd spoken to the developer. The pedestrian gate which will be installed shortly will be opened by coded key-pad. I thanked him, said that answered my question and would be accessible for me, and that I would instruct my solicitor to proceed with the purchase.

But he didn't really understand. He continued trying to 'explain'.

If I wasn't disabled and had asked what colour the gate would be, would it have taken so long? would I have had to sit through lectures on 'the developer won't choose a colour that looks bad'? would the agent spend ages explaining that he couldn't tell me the exact chemical composition of the paint and therefore neglect to tell me the colour either?

When I ask about accessibility it isn't out of irrational fear. I don't want reassurance.

I want answers.

Direct and simple answers to direct and simple questions.

The beauty of life

2011-06-09T13:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was beautiful.

It was happy.

It was perfect.

Yesterday my train got delayed by an hour.

My pain levels were high.

I used up my energy for at least a few days.

3 Taxi's refused to pick me up.

My estate agent had a moment of disability related patronising oik.

And yet, the day was beautiful. And as I arrived home I could not have been happier or more content.

Why?

Because no-one and nothing could take away from what I had achieved.

4 years ago I started drawing stickmen.

Yesterday in a meeting with whizzkidz PR and fundraising chaps we initiated a project which might help change the attitudes of the country towards those in wheelchairs. Which will raise money to help get kids the wheels they need to be kids. Which will involve working with some kids - who will then get their names in published print. And which will expand my stickman empire. ( I will post more on this later...)

Of course I was proud of myself, but actually, this was only a small part of my contentment.

The big part was that I had:

Travelled to and across London on my own.

To somewhere I had never been before.

Had a business meeting lasting over an hour during which I was able to concentrate and talk until the very end.

And then....

I went shopping. Wheeling free and independent through the shops around Victoria. Completely alone in the crowds - just one person in a seething mass of humanity. Yes, I sometimes got rescued by random shop assistants and passers by, but so would someone carrying a heavy box - and it doesn't take away from my achievements.

I randomly met an old lecturer from my pre-wheelie days. We chatted and she didn't pity me or patronise me.

I got back across London with my shopping - hailing a taxi all by myself - before catching my train and getting back home.

It was beauty. It was perfection. Simply because: I did it.

A year ago I couldn't hold a 10 minute conversation while curled up at home and remain coherent.

A year ago a trip to London wasn't even a dream. My dreams were things like being able to visit someone for coffee and not end up semi-comatose. It was so far outside my abilities. It would have put me in hospital. And medically I had been given no hope that things would change for the better anytime soon.

But with my new medical team at the Bristol Heart Institute: Dr Thomas, the Arrythmia nurses, ward nurses, physiotherapists, pharmacists and their pioneering treatment, the sky is my limit.

I feel human again. Taking steps into new areas. As important as those first steps on man on the moon.

Yes, I am paying for it now. I can't concentrate for long. Speaking is difficult. My fingers ache, my elbows aren't properly attached......etc....etc...

But "what price perfection"?

It was worth it.

And no after-effects can take away the fact that I did it.

On my own.

I did it.

Whispers

2011-05-26T03:04:00.000-07:00

I am used to whispers following me. Ranging from "Whats wrong with her?" to "How brave."

Today, at school, I wheeled down a corridor full of students. A teacher shouted 'stand aside for the..pause...lady' (awkwardly avoiding 'wheelchair'). The students stood aside obediently and watched me pass and I felt so 'disabled' and 'different'. I could easily have said 'excuse me' and got through no problem. Besides, no-one was in my way to start with.

Then everything changed.

There were no wheelchair whispers. Only a quiet "Did you see her DMs?" Someone had seen beyond the chair. I glanced back over my shoulder and smiled. The group looked embarrassed. I didn't want them to feel they had done wrong so as I went through the exit I turned again, grinned cheekily and gave them a 'thumbs up' sign with both hands.

As the door shut behind me I heard laughter and the beginnings of a loud and happy discussion on footwear and fashion.

Little did they realise how beautiful their whispers were.

How refreshing for someone to see past the disability in a 10 second glimpse.

And how bright a future they paint for acceptance of those who are different.

It wasn't exactly a 'teacherish' thing to do but I am delightfully unrepentant. Even if their teacher now has a lively class that won't shut up about DM boots.

I was teaching: They now know that complimentary comments on someone's footwear are a good and happy thing.

And that disabled people are just people too.

Gates, Wheels, and a new perspective!

2011-05-20T05:39:00.000-07:00

In checking the final details re my flat purchase I discover the impending arrival of 'Gated Access' - a 'poser' feature that insurance might like, but isn't needed.

And? so what?

I've had a proper dose of 'wow my perspective has changed since becoming a wheelie!' I wouldn't have thought twice about it before.

But...

*wails* I don't know if I'll be able to open the gate from wheels!

Part of me thinks 'Oh don't be daft, it'll be fine'.

Part of me thinks 'What if my bendy hands can't open the side gate? what if I can't use the main gate?'

At least I have established that the main gate is electric and in case of electronic failure will stay open. But I still don't know what the trigger/key will be for the main gate.

I plan to get fitter and hope to be able to do 'race for life' or similar next year, so I need to be able to leave the flats in my wheelchair, without my car. But the agent thought the pedestrian gate would be key operated. Urgh. Dislocate-y and uncoordinated hands really don't like the sound of that.

But the agent could be wrong. It may all be OK really.

And I can't go check because they haven't finished installing it.

I can't spend thousands and thousands of pounds on a flat that I will 'probably' be able to get to. Or even a flat I will 'almost certainly' be able to get to.

I've asked the agent to get me the spec. I pray it all turns out to be fine. But I can't sign final papers on hope or a promise.

I am so excited about the flat itself, but now I have to deal with the gate. Part of me is panicking that I won't be able to get the flat after all. Because of a stupid gate. Who would have thought that a gate installed purely to look posh could crush my dreams of independence? Yes, I know It will probably be fine, but until I know for certain I have to live with the fear. I have to plan, research, discover, negotiate and educate. But that method didn't keep me my job, so why should it keep me my flat.

Of course, under the DDA reasonable adjustments must be made and there will be solutions, even cheap solutions to any problems the gate might cause. But I don't believe in the DDA.

I am not an 'equal'. If I can loose my job and health for the want of £300 worth of adaptions in a refurbishment costing 100's of thousands -by a government organisation, why should a relatively small, private company make any allowances at all?

Wobble over. Time to ignore the past and listen only to the assertive, decisive parts of me.

I will find out what they are installing,

I will make sure it is suitable,

I will request adjustments if needed,

I will demand adjustments if requesting fails,

I will make my dream of living independently a reality.

Stairlifts and Signs

2011-05-19T05:11:00.000-07:00

Today is a Good Day.

There is something special about receiving a parcel of your very own published work - so special that the postman who rang the doorbell at 07:43 this morning got a massive grin, a thank you (albeit a bed-headed, blurry eyed one) and instant forgiveness.

My 4th book. Childishly, I still find myself funny. I've read it twice already. Inspired by Emma and her faulty stairlift saga (see my earlier blog entry), I suppose it is very 'me'. Taking the absolute reality of something that sucks and opening the eyes to the giggle factors while pointing out the suck-y-ness to those who mightn't otherwise understand.

"Emma's Incarceration: You know you've been stuck upstairs too long when..." is now: Available online!

But not only that, my long awaited 'wheelchair signs' are now available too! Born of the wish that people would use their common sense when talking to me when I'm out and about, I've turned some of my cartoons into signs for wheelchairs.

Disability awareness in motion - you can wheel around safe in the knowledge that you are doing your bit to educate the world. And of course, as they stick using velcro you can swap them to suit the occasion. So if you will be meeting that really annoying person who thinks that disability means you have no life and can't achieve - wear the blue one! or someone of the 'does she take sugar?' variety - wear the yellow one.

Or if you are supposed to be being mature and sensible and somber, you can temporarily hide them and pretend you are indeed mature, sensible and somber.

Meanderings of my creative mind

2011-05-17T03:35:00.001-07:00

For once, I'm not writing with any particular theme in mind! I'm just having a day when, for once, I have lot of mental energy = good thing, get lots done.

Unfortuately my unstable pelvis keeps yelling at me for pulling ligaments or summat which means my 'getting lots done' is...erm...somewhat 'probably not' in terms of packing for a house move.

However, thinking about pain= more pain. I don't like more pain. I avoid more pain whenever I can. It isn't very friendly. So bring on distraction!

I'm getting lots done online and by phone.

Checked emails.

sent an invoice.

Confirmed printing of wheelchair signs (should get them today! - that'll be a new blog entry :D )

Called estate agent.

Plotted some stickmen.

Posting "I am a genius" on twitter probably doesn't count. But hey, it made me chuckle.

Twitter generally does count as constructive though, I get to make other people tell more people that I draw funny pictures. Besides, Fran Williamson just tweeted that she my website is worth a look. My head seems somewhat larger than before for some reason.

Oh oh oh! good side effect of wonky pelvis! My posture is practically perfect! Ok, so it might be the only way to stop being bitten by pelvic bones free-lancing as elbows, but still, everybody aims for perfect posture, and I reckon I'm pretty close to having it :D (dashed hard work tho, and means I can't slouch over stickman doodles)

Perhaps I'm suffering from stickman-drawing-withdrawal symptoms. The nonsense I am currently inflicting on you is part 'feeling creative but stickmen aren't a possibility' and part distraction technique.

You couldn't make it up!

2011-05-10T14:04:00.000-07:00

There are many absurdities which are completely normal when you are on wheels - from accessible toilets reachable only via steps, to shops with aisles 30cm wide.

But yesterday, for the first time since becoming a wheelie, access issues left me speechless.

I arrived for work (at a school), parked in the allocated disabled bays and wheeled off to class. The general accessibility is good and I whizzed round, made a few minor adjustments to my classroom layout so it suited me better, and started teaching. All was going well.

The head of department popped her head in "Is this your car registration number?" "yes?" (has it been broken into? did I leave my lights on?) "You are blocking in a delivery lorry, could you move your car?" "I doubt it, I'm parked in the disabled bays, could you check it is my car that needs moving!"

Obviously I wasn't blocking anyone in as I was in one of the only 2 disabled parking spaces, located next to each other, and not in anyones way. The foolish 'problem parker' would be correctly identified and I would continue my lesson.

2 minutes later the head of department was back. "erm....Hannah, it is your car." (very embarrassed pause)

"Yeah right! I'm parked in the crip space for goodness sake! like that could possibly be in the way! - have you got a directionally challenged carpark or something?"

"erm...the delivery lorries drive down the section of pavement through the disabled bays..."

"......"

"I can move the car for you if you like"

"......"

Off she went to move my car.

I looked at my student. My mouth opening and closing without words.

And she looked back. Trying to convince ourselves that yes, this was the real world, and yes, this had really happened.

She spoke first:

"That's just stupid"

If only architects and project planners had the common sense of my 14 yr old student.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Blogging against disabilism.

2011-05-01T08:52:00.000-07:00

I don't often blog entirely on a disabled theme, but today, for "Blogging against disablism day" I will.

As I read through other peoples blog entries I realised something.

I do not to expect equality.

Yes, in law, under the DDA there is a foundation for equality for disabled people. But in society there is so much attitude that is, simply put, extremely prejudice.

I used to work for local government. When I got my job I appeared to be an average 22yr old, but 2 years later I was wheelchair reliant with multiple complex medical issues.

For example, at work I experienced the Good, the Bad, and the downright Ugly.

The Good

From my direct colleagues I experienced a phenomenal level of real equality. I was just 'one of the team'. When someone offered to get me a drink it was on the same casual level that they offered to make one for my neighbors. When I needed specific help (like assistance relocating a dislocated wrist) I could ask and help would be given without fuss, without any debt being placed on my shoulders.

Over half of my direct colleagues had close personal experience of disability. And the rest of the office followed their lead. I was first and foremost a team member. Secondly, slightly mouthy. Thirdly, a great shot with rubber bands....and somewhere at the end of the list of my contributions to office life would be "wheelchair user" and "disabled". Unless it came to a flight of stairs - then I would be "A colleague who is jolly well going to get to this meeting, so facilities team, pull your finger out." - And the facilities staff in general were marvelous at helping without leaving me 'in their debt'.

So I had a circle of safety. Of respect. Of equality.

But this circle was small. Very small.

The Bad

For almost a year our office was 2nd floor in an old building. One destined for demolition. My direct colleagues remained the same, but suddenly I was reliant on the corporate body to allow me equality. I don't think the 'corporate body' ever saw me as a colleague, valued team member, or someone who got achieved a lot. Only as an annoyance.

The lift kept breaking. Somedays it would not go at all and I would be unable to reach my desk - and have to return home. Other times I'd be stranded upstairs, praying it would be fixed before night-time. Usually it would stop an inch or 2 above or below the ground floor so that I could not exit on my wheels without dislocating my shoulder or wrists, so I had to have someone help me out of the office every day.

The DDA talks about 'reasonable adjustments' - the building was going to be knocked down so it was unreasonable to demand they spend £100K on a new one. So I accepted the corporate refusal to do anything, and was grateful for the fact that I was still employed.

I had trouble opening many of the internal fire doors. I even had to telephone a colleague to open the bathroom door for me as I got stuck inside. There were raised door thresholds for me to contend with, and the kitchen layout meant I think I tried using it twice during the entire year. Access to the staff canteen was up a ridiculously steep ramp which deftly took my independence. But as I said, the building was going to be knocked down so it was unreasonable to ask for any changes at all.

It was only when I broke down in tears when talking to my union rep about how tough I was finding it having no independence that minor changes started to be made - and my colleagues fought the system and got some of these cheaper issues sorted. One colleague even fitted an air-con unit for me himself because repeated requests to the powers that be had got nothing but promises.

I no longer expected equality. I expected ignorance. I expected complaints that my requests would inconvenience others, or cost money that would be better used elsewhere. I felt guilty that by asking for easy and safe access to a toilet, my line manager had lost several thousand pounds of an already tight budget. She never told me this, but I was frequently reminded by HR and certain members of the facilities team (i.e. the ones not mentioned earlier).

And above all I had learnt that if I wanted to keep my job, then it was me who would need to compromise. That if I asked for changes, I would make my team - who's work I was proud of and who I hold in great regard - suffer.

When I tell this to people, I am still surprised at them being shocked.

The Ugly

A year was spent planning the move to my final office. It had been specially refurbished, costing hundreds of thousands of pounds. I put in my disability related requirements as soon as I could - approx 7 months in advance. I asked for wheelchair access, and for a cool working environment with air conditioning (a cool environment was medically necessary)

There were meetings, discussions, floor plan drafts and re-drafts. Access issues were raised in disability forums, the health and safety working group and senior management team meetings. Including a meeting in public - THE MAIN RECEPTION AREA - to discuss my personal disability issues. I repeatedly gave the same information only to receive plans that made no allowance for it, or to be told that I couldn't expect the move to be planned around me. There were promises that the temperature 'would be fine' ' would be sorted' and a point blank refusal to allow me to see a member of the occupational health team - the very people qualified to come up with practical solutions to the barriers I faced, and part of the same organisation.

I was repeatedly told I was being unreasonable and that I shouldn't use the office move issues as a political thing. Political? I just wanted to continue in the job I love, and not loose what health I have over an office move. One week I spent most of my working hours in tears as I received email after email denying me equality, independence, and creating a scenario which I knew could take away my job and my health.

And what did I get out of it?

I had got them to change the thick, wheelchair-halting entrance lobby carpet so I could get into and out of the office on my own.

But:

I had no access to the kitchen - they couldn't change the door "just for me", and "She couldn't use it anyway because it is narrow."

I couldn't access the canteen because "It would cost too much to replace the carpet on the upstairs landing". Even though there was an accessible service lift that would have been perfect - they only needed to tell me it existed and let me use it!

According to Human Resourses management, I was "being unreasonable to ask for access to a kitchen". And Health and Safety informed me that I was "Not allowed to eat hot food at my desk, or have a kettle I could reach nearby because there couldn't be one rule for me and one for everyone else."

They hadn't even serviced the air conditioning, let alone fixed it. The only chance I had was to move my desk to a small, isolated office at the far end of the building, which had a semi-functioning cooling system. I couldn't open the door to it and worked in there alone. Most days, every time I left my box I put my health at risk due to the warmth in the general office - to use the bathroom or see another human face. Sometimes even my box got to warm and I would end sat in the cold outside for an hour before recovering enough to drive home safely.

Eventually I got to see Occupational Health. They had cheap, workable solutions for practically everything. But it was too late. The constant strain that my faulty autonomic system had gone through with the temperature issues (and the stress) had taken its toll. I collapsed. Thoroughly. Unable to lift my head or speak coherently I went 'off sick'.

To add insult to injury, Facilities Management proceeded to install the air con unit that I had been asking for since day 1 of planning the move, at a cost of a few hundred pounds.

But it was too late.

I am now medically retired. And my direct manger and line manager almost lost their jobs because they championed my cause and fought for my right to work in a safe environment.

And yet the other day someone effectively told me "but you don't get discriminated against like gays do". Really? Is the above equality?

On paper I may be equal, but in reality when faced with large organisations and ignorant individuals, society says I am not. I did not even have the right to be safe. Let alone employed.

I have my small circle of respect. Of equality.

Please use your attitude to expand this circle, and do not take it from me.

Unique Gifts Now Available

2011-04-29T11:06:00.000-07:00

All items featured are one-offs. Totally Unique. Not to be found anywhere else. Ever.

Each 'lot' will be sold as follows: Email a bid to admin@stickmancommunications.co.uk specifying the amount bid in UK£, which lot you are bidding for and your contact details. Bidding closes on Sunday 15th May. On Monday 16th May the winning bidder will be contacted and payment arranged. If there is more than one identical maximum bid for a lot it will be sold to the bidder whose email landed in my inbox first. The final sale prices will be published on my Blog.

Note: there will be an additional charge of £3.00 postage for each item and bids can only be accepted from mainland UK.

Lot 1: "Hot Drink Moments"

'Hot drink moments' is a set of 4 cups that depict some of those quintessentially British 'Tea Moments' - from the workman in his wheelbarrow to the calm of the sofa at home. A perfect addition to any tea break or coffee morning.

Each cup is signed by me, and approximately 9cm tall, illustrated in glaze with a hand drawn stickman. Technically dishwasher safe, but I would advise hand-washing. Avoid abrasive cleaning solutions and cloths.

Lot 2: Cookie Jar

You buy cookies, you eat them. What more can I say? Cookies should never be left to languish in captivity, but released so they can fulfill their destiny- and your stomach. If my kitchen wasn't red, I really don't think I'd be selling this!

Signed by me and dated, it is approximately 18cm tall, illustrated in glaze with hand drawn stickmen. Technically dishwasher safe, but I would advise hand-washing. Avoid abrasive cleaning solutions and cloths.

Lot 3: Red Pot

This charming little pot with garden themed stickmen gallivanting round it is ideal for a number of uses - bits and bobs holder, car key tamer or even...a plant pot.

Signed by me and dated, it is approximately 7cm tall, illustrated in glaze with hand drawn stickmen. Technically dishwasher safe, but I would advise hand-washing. Avoid abrasive cleaning solutions and cloths. Suitable for outdoors or indoors use.

My walk!

2011-04-27T06:49:00.000-07:00

I started maths tuition sessions at the local secondary school today. At the end of class I said "Oh, if you want to ask questions about my disability, wheelchair etc. feel free!" they did. They were fascinated and it is so nice to talk to people who are intrigued but not pitying. They accepted my 'normal' as simply a different kind of normal. If I was OK with it so were they.

They found it fascinating that I could drive, and even walk short distances and yet I use a wheelchair - but because they were free to ask, they were able to understand. Falling over at the smallest distraction isn't exactly constructive. Neither is getting stroke-like symptoms from being upright too long! So hopefully that is 6 more people on the planet who don't assume that all wheelchair users are paralysed.

Anyways, when asked I told them that I walk like a drunk string puppet. I was just reminded of this by a friend (truffle) who says she walks like a drunk gazelle! - She also has HMS/EDS.

So, in aid of dispelling the myth that wheelchair users are all completely incapable of walking, here is 'My Walk' (note, this is a few years old, so some bits are now worse and other bits are better!)

Funnily enough my physio has currently banned me from walking in public until I have made significant progress :D

Protests at the John Snow

2011-04-20T09:54:00.001-07:00

This has been so much in the media lately. How shocking that people were turned away because of how they were! National news coverage and national outrage.

I have nothing against this protest, but it makes me feel sad. Invisible. Left out in the cold.

Why?

As my friend, @oneoffdave asked on twitter: "No disrespect to the people protesting at the John Snow tomorrow, but where are you all when a disabled person is refused entry to a pub?"

One couple asked to leave one pub makes headline news.

When a friend was refused drinks and asked to leave a club because he had Cerebral Palsy, why was there no national outburst?

The other week when 4 taxi drivers in a row in the taxi rank refused to pick me up because I was in a wheelchair (that fits easily in standard cars, so it was perfectly possible for them to take me) where was the aghast reaction? True, the man behind me looked horrified. But no-one else was interested. A whole queue of commuters behind me - and of course the 3 people who went in front of me without a second thought (1 of them caught the next taxi because I was talking to the driver of the front taxi - and quite understandably assumed that I was therefore about to board it. Their action was fine.)

I can never go somewhere assuming I will be allowed or able to go in. Every time I go to a new venue I scan their website for accessibility information, I call to ask about access, but I still sometimes turn up to find that I have to go elsewhere. True, it may not be feasible to adapt some buildings but there are so very very many places where attitudes not practicalities are the barrier. Sometimes the attitude prevents the removal of the barriers. Sometimes, like in the case of the Taxis it is purely attitude.

So in all the outrage at the 'John Snow' incident, remember the thousand in the UK who face refusal daily and many in society simply turn their faces away.

I do not expect the world to campaign on my behalf-as another tweeter said "You can't fight everyone's campaign". The same tweeter hadn't realised that disabled people get refused access due to attitude - not only practical issues. Perhaps he hasn't spent much time around people with visible disability, or perhaps he has just been very lucky. He was shocked when I outlined just one standard experience. How I wish I was so naive.

So when you are out and about, please notice.

Notice when people ignore me in the queue, pushing in-front of me like I am not there. And never do it yourself - however busy or preoccupied you are.

Notice when the Taxi driver says he will take the next person in the queue and not me. And if you are that next person - would you refuse and tell them I was first? or would you jump in without thought and hurry on your way, and leave me to try my luck indefinitely?

Perhaps part of it is fear. Fear of offending the disabled person. Fear of saying the wrong thing. Fear of difference. But if you treat me like a person you will find that that is all I am. A human being, going about my daily business.

So society, by all means fight for your own causes. I have no problem with you not fighting mine, but please don't just look the other way when see a disabled person left out in the cold. We are people too.

Coming Soon! 'Emma's Incarceration' By Hannah Ensor

2011-04-13T10:55:00.000-07:00

Woohoo! My next book is nearly here!

Following my decision to publish 'Emma's Incarceration' D-day approaches rapidly

Imprisonment-by-stairlift-that's-busted is a plight that few understand. So this will be the perfect educational tool. A 48 pg A5 book with 15 cartoons and plenty of humour I have never seen a book like this one. And as an awareness-raiser I'd say its perfect. My stickmen always seem to get the message across - though I'm not quite sure why. Perhaps more people talk stickmen than sense these days.

My Dil-Emma? How many to print in my initial print-run. Estimated RRP around £10 each (as I predictit will be a very small print run) but who knows. Perhaps it will be like a cripple version Harry Potter and I'll sell millions (in which case it would be cheaper). As with all my books, £1 will be donated to the HMSA (Emma also has HMS, so it is very relevant)

Back to the real world:

How many people would definitely like one, how many people might like one? replies through comments, twitter, FB or email. I won't hold you to your responses cos that would be to much like hard work, but I don't want to print 10 to find that there is demand for 100s :D

Sample pages below:

Reply ASAP cos I hope to send it to the publisher on Friday!

Fit for work: Take 2

2011-04-10T08:14:00.000-07:00

I was going to keep this til tomorrow, but as the #DWP45 campaign is ending today, I thought I'd post them today. Enjoy :D.

Fit for work?

2011-04-10T06:10:00.000-07:00

Courtsey of inspirational tweeters, the Broken of Britain's humourous but serious take on the 'fit for work' assessments and attitude from the government: (sorry I can't remember exactly who tweeted what and my brain is a bit flooofed at the moment!)

Work, benefits, and the Broken of Britain

2011-04-10T05:38:00.000-07:00

'The Broken of Britain' asked about peoples work stories. This is a brief outline of mine.

I find the whole 'tell disabled people they must work' thing stupid. Tell that to the employers, not the disabled people who have lost jobs because employers didn't make the changes requested.

I trained as an Environmental Health Officer (4 yr degree + professional exams) and I was the best officer in the department. Even as I became increasingly disabled and could no longer go on inspections I was the legal advice resource for every other officer and the 'difficult case worker-outer' for the department. Yes, it was tough working while one wheels and with multiple health issues, but I did it, and was proud of it. My direct bosses were extremely supportive. I had lots of little adaptations and special arrangements that made it possible. Infact everyone up to the departmental Director was.

Then came an office move. Unfortunately the facilities team saw my requests for accessibility/health related adapations as political wrangling and failed to act on them. HR became involved and saw 'a young woman who is upset. Lets calm her down'. I was upset because I could see my job slipping away from me, slowly and tortuously over a year, and all I wanted was someone with backbone to stand up and say 'get this sorted' before my health worsened too much or I lost my job.

Oh the politically correct terms were happily bandied about: accessibility, DDA compliance, equality and all that. But when it came to the fact that if I get too warm I go like I've had a stroke - nothing happened. We knew that the new office was unsuitable and asked for changes. They weren't done. But I was told they were done and tried to work there. I collapsed. A year later and I still couldn't hold a 10 min conversation reliably - frequently not even a sentance. Later they put in an air con unit at the cost of a few hundred pounds. It would have made work safe and possible and I had repeatedly asked for one. But too late. The regular part time hours I managed then, I still cannot manage now, 18 months on despite pioneering new treatment over the past few months.

I haven't given up though - I started this business! And I intend to make a success of it. When I work for myself I am in control of my environment and my coping strategies. For now, that is the only way I know I will be as safe as possible. True, I earn little at present, but I am lucky to have a talent that lends itself to the freestyle, irregular hours, random breaks etc that I need.

I worked for the government. Their failures lost me more health and my job. And now they say that me and people like me are at fault for not having a conventional job? I could never say to someone with complex health needs that they need to be employed - there is too much ignorance out there, and sometimes the cost of that ignorance is almost too high to bear.

Recycling, stickman-style: Bespoke gift 1

2011-04-07T05:23:00.000-07:00

A unique birthday gift for a graphic designer friend who needed a paintbrush holder:

I saw the pot in a charity shop and fell in love. What could possibly make a funkier brush&bits and bobs holder than stickmen galivanting round a bright pink pot?

It started out aiming to be stickmen involved in artistic endeavours, but they misbehaved somewhat and ended up falling in the ink, pouring paint on each others heads and hitching unofficial lifts on pencils. And hanging from the ceiling. This was not my fault. Perhaps it was the last day of term on planet stickman. I would like to point out that in the human world this kind of activity is not socially acceptable.

I rather like the final result. Slightly mad, totally unique, masses of humour. Guaranteed to make her smile. And totally 'green' as it is from a second hand shop :) And I can absolutely guarantee that no-one else in the world has one like it - not least cos I signed the base. Maybe in 10 yrs it will be worth a fotune. (Note: please don't burst my pretty bubble, wreck my happy dream and make reality return.) Fingers crossed she likes it!

I may now have to keep my eyes on the contents of local charity shops for more things I can graffiti! - just have to work out whether there is a market for plant pots, desk tidys, cookie jars etc with stickmen on them.

What do you think?

Wheelie Cartoons

2011-04-02T06:36:00.001-07:00

I don't believe it! I've been blogging for over a month and haven't mentioned my wheelchair cartoons! - a whole book full of them: "You know you've been pushing it when..."

I reckon these are my funniest set of cartoons. Totally true to life - I know cos I've been there, done that, got the bruised bum.

The Inspiration came after my first outing on my newest wheels:

Me (all excited about rigid frame lightweight sportschair) "Hey, lets go on a walk around the housing estate!"

Lil Bro: "Sure."

off I trundle.....

Up the path, around the brambles, go on the road to get past the car blocking the pavement, and then reached an open carpark. Yay! Lets see how much speed I can get up!

10cms of accelleration...

cobblestones....

backflip.

Sheepish look around to check no-one noticed.

Get back into chair and try to look innocent.

Laugh all the way home, with lil bro trying to do impressions of me falling out.

Wonder how big the bruise on my posterior is.

So my first wheelie-life cartoon was born. A few months later it had multiplied into an entire book. Sarcastic, light hearted, true, and positively genius. (Note: this is my blog so I can be as big-headed as I like. I never said you had to believe me!)

(Note: this is not a direct copy of what is in the book)

And Helene Raynsford likes it. As in: Paralynpic Gold Medalist (2008). I was well chuffed at her feedback "Really funny and a great way of conveying wheelie life." Someone famous and a proper wheelie likes my book :D

Wheelies usually get the giggles and come out with stories about how they've been in exactly the same situation as poor stickman, but I love showing it to able bodied people cos by the end they are usually laughing but kinda thoughtful too, often commenting "I'd never thought of that." I reckon I succeeded in producing something that educates by making people laugh - how cool is that! If only I could think how to apply this to maths lessons I'd be a millionnaire.

(available from www.stickmancommunications.co.uk Among other places...)

Emmas Incarceration

2011-03-29T07:41:00.001-07:00

Some of you will know that a disabled friend of mine recently got stuck upstairs for 30 days due to a faulty stairlift. Although now released from her impromptu prison, at the time she needed all the support she could get - so a few stickman cartoons appeared about life upstairs. Unfortunately these have now multiplied. I have nearly completed my latest book "Emmas Incarceration - the story of Imprisonment-By-Stairlift-that's-busted".

Of course, our Emma is the inspiration, but I bet that anyone who has ever been stranded due to technical failure will have a good chuckle at this :D

Currently having a bit of a dilemma - this book is primarily written for Emma, and has approx 10 cartoons in it (but plenty of humour) but I am convinced that stairlift users up and down the country would love it, as would everyone with my sense of humour (Unfortunately some people are not blessed with my particular outlook. Poor people.) So do I publish it and make it available generally as a 'print on demand' book, or do I just print one for Emma....

Funnest Project EVER

2011-03-21T09:06:00.000-07:00

I've been a little quiet on here lately- the main reason for that is that I have been working on a very very special project, and I am only now allowed to tell the world what it was :D

My brother Jake married my friend Rachel on Saturday. The wedding was great and they are perfectly matched. Both have a great sense of humour, see the absurdities in life, and love each other quite a lot. - unsurprisingly seeing as they are newly-weds.

Anyway, it is a family tradition to have a photo cavalcade/presentation showing the couple as they grow up. Unfortunately Rachel has my sense of humour and asked if I could do stickmen illustrations of their lives so far instead - but not to tell anyone beforehand.

It has been the funnest project EVER. I spent several days 'story collecting' - talking to them about childhood memories, teenage events, and the stories surrounding how Jake won Rachels heart etc. Over the next few weeks these were turned into nearly 50 stickmen pictures. Some with no comment, some with sarky one-liners. You could say it was a collection of private jokes.

It was shown at the reception and all who knew the stories laughed in recognition, and those who didn't soon got to know the couple a lot better! (Yes, Rachel did once take a mouse to school in a sock!)

And the final picture showed the couple so accurately - Rachel mucking about in her bright pink shoes (as worn in reality) and Jake pretending to be serious while trying to hide his laughter :D It happened to coincide with a 'Tarzan yell' from the accopmanying music. Highly mature. And soooooo Rachel.

I am now working on making it into a bespoke, specially bound, high quality book. A book that will always bring back happy memories and joy. It has been hard work - especially for hands that don't like holding a pen! - but worth it. I can't afford to give them a spectacularly expensive wedding present, but if I can get the book done like it is in my head it will be my single greatest achievement in the stickman world.

Disability and my career

2011-03-09T07:09:00.000-08:00

The other day while chatting with a friend the following came up 'If your disability improves to the point that you are able to go back to your old career, would you take it up again?'

Good question.

I spent 4 years at Uni studying to be an Environmental Health Practitioner, then spent a few years working for a local authority. I enjoyed it and was good at it. It was rewarding, challenging and interesting. I carried on working as an EHP as my disability worsened, so even if I stay with some level of disability all my life, I could quite possibly reach a stage when returning to EH is an option.

However, I don't feel I am the same person I was then. Not that I am massively changed - I have the same humour, interests etc. I just feel like I've grown. And some of my perspectives have shifted. So much has happened in the past few years, including the death of my Father, Grandfather and 2 close family friends in a space of 6 months. If I have the option I want a career that leaves me free to spend time with family and friends while giving me enough money to live. The times I spent with Dad are some of my most precious memories, far more important than how much money he was able to spend on me.

Perhaps the most significant thing is that I started to draw my stickmen. Which I LOVE doing. If I can make a living using my cartoon skills, then I will, regardless of whether I am disabled or not. It is a career I can build here and now, rather than do things half heartedly thinking 'when I can get back to where I was 5 years ago'. I don't want to go back in time, I want to use my now.

And being an illustrator/author/cartoonist fits perfectly with my priorities - it will give me freedom to do spontaneous fun things with my younger siblings, to manage my time appropriately, but most importantly:

I LOVE IT

I love thinking up my cartoons. I love drawing them. I love sketching and re-sketching them until the expression is just what I want it to be. You can't beat the feeling of looking at a drawing that you've done, knowing that it 'works', that the emotion and energy you wanted to communicate is dancing on the page. Unless it is the feeling of watching someone else looking at the picture and responding to that emotion and energy :D I'd be an idiot not to take the opportunity to build this career!

So no. I have no present aim to return to Environmental Health. I will still use a lot of the skills I learnt as an EHP and it doesn't mean I never will do related work, it just means that my current career is that of an illustrator and I intend to make the most of it. And no, this is not a disability related decision, it is a decision based on my finding new skills and enjoying them :D

It is official:

I am Hannah Ensor. Author, illustrator and comic genius.

International Wheelchair Club

2011-03-04T01:53:00.000-08:00

I designed the logo!!!

Building on my adapted logo below, I thought: "Why can't we have a symbol that encompases joy and life?" - the accepted wheelchair symbol has no character or life. No sense of the freedom and joy that a set of wheels can bring when you need them. The wheels aren't a disabling factor - they are my keys to the world. My disability is, strangely enough, disabling! - but my wheels are the best thing in the EVER!

I suppose in a way, the logo is also a self portrait. "Woohoooooo" - yelled while going down hill is practically a trademark gesture for me :D - childish? possibly. But then so is laughter and I don't appologise for that.

When people see my symbol I want them to smile rather than pity. I want it to spread happiness and acceptance of our differences.

And I animated the logo - because it is fun.

New Wheelchair symbol!

2011-03-01T08:57:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Emma for pointing out someone who had 're-done' the wheelchair sign, (http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2011/02/21/cambridge_artist_sara_hendren_promotes_wheelchair_symbol_update/?camp=misc:on:share:article) I decided that more cheer was needed - and seeing as I have a thing about everyone thinking that as soon as you are proficent on wheels you should be in the paralympics I don't want to strengthen that assumption! - Besides, my shoulders tend to slip out of joint if I race! (I've seen people run for the bus. It doesn't mean they should race Usain Bolt!) Not convinced about the 'super active' version she drew, I've attached my version.

More joy and freedom and, well, real-person-ness to it than the standard one but no racing :D

Unfortunately as a symbol it can't be my standard stickman style - so here is a chunky version especially for all you wheelies who have great personalities and fun and fullfilled lives!

YIPPEE FOR IWD

(Update Feb 2012: I've just blogged about an updated version of this symbol here)

International Wheelchair Day

2011-03-01T07:34:00.000-08:00

A day to celebrate the freedom wheels have brought:

To cross a room without a thought
To carry a bag without a fall
To converse without having to hug the wall
To spend a day with friends
And keep up until the end.

Obviously I am also totally proud of the fact that I drew the IWD logo:

Getting my wheels 5 years ago may have been a big decision, but also the most liberating. I am so much less disabled when I'm in them. As I have EDS I dislocate all my joints a lot - and trust me, walking on knees that pop out randomly at almost every step is highly inconvenient. I also have PoTS meaning the blood flow to my brain slows down when I stand up (or digest, or talk, or sit) making me get stroke like symptoms and end up semi-concious if I stand for more than a few seconds - although I am improving thanks to a new treatment :D

So I CAN walk - didn't that mean I would be 'faking it' or 'exagerating it' if I used wheels? Aren't they only for 'proper' disabled people? - No. They are for those who would benefit from using them. People like me.

I was at the point where I could hardly do anything at all - and I certainly couldn't do anything in a relaxed and easy way other than lie down. EVERYTHING was a challenge, and at 23yrs old I thought falling over daily was 'normal'. Now I have my wheels I can go shopping, socialise, dance, sail, even do some basic chores on a good day. All things that without my wheels would be simply: Impossible.

I walk where I can and I wheel where I can't. My wheels quite literally gave me back my life. My independance. My sparkle.

So wheels, I thank you for all the time we've spent together, and bring on the future!

2011-02-24T07:06:00.000-08:00

Wheels are the best thing invented. I spent hours shopping yesterday - and I now have a fabulous dress for little brothers wedding, all long and floaty, which looks great on my wheels and doesn't give me a wierd belly-bulge like some do. I so love feeling really feminine.

Had a few giggles at things like my able-bodied lil sister trying to get the attention of the shop assistant and totally failing, then wheelchair me says 'excuse me' and the woman practically jumps to attention! I thought was hilarious, much to lil sisters discust!

Plus I have some killer heels - totally gorgeous and it is of no consequence that I can't stand in them - cos I won't need to :D

So this will be me in approx 3 weeks time:

GORGEOUS!

Positive attention welcome.

Emmas Incarceration

2011-02-20T11:29:00.000-08:00

Dedicated to Emma. Who also has HMS/EDS and dislocates like a very dislocatey thing and has a broken stairlift. - stuck upstairs for 25 days so far and still counting....

When fragile, trying stairs on wheels might possibly be a very bad idea! so having Poppy-dog for company helps, but that is no substitue for actually getting to put your head out of the front door.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/home.php?sk=group_197021113657683

My Intro!

2011-02-20T06:05:00.000-08:00

Hello and good morning!

As anyone who has seen my website will know, I have a problem with taking life seriously. There is far too much comedy involved.

As a side effect of this merry affliction, I find myself producing cartoons that show life just as it is with all its ridiculosity on display.

Why did I start? How did I discover that stickmen could be so funny?

About 5 years ago I became disabled by a condition called Hypermobility Syndrome (HMS/EDS) (meaning my collagen is faulty and my joints all slip out of place, and I walked like a string puppet). A few years later I was also diagnosed with Postural Tachycardia Sydnrome (linked to HMS/EDS) where my blood pressure and heart rate don't cope with upright, causing my brain to not get enough oxygen when I'm not lying down. Meaning I spend a lot of time with the same symptoms as being drunk. I now walked like a drunk string puppet and had long patches where I couldn't talk coherently. So I started drawing. And using a wheelchair more - it seemed like a wise alternative to incessant wall hugging and carpet-kissing.

And 3 books later I'm still drawing and my stickmen are gradually educating the world as to what living with disability can be like, whilst creating laughter lines and smile creases in the faces of all involved.

And so I'm starting a blog, where everyone can keep updated as to my latest adventures and projects while ensuring that their sense of humour is kept fully operational.